Songs that Speak

Alanis Morisette has really been speaking to me of late. Not the new stuff, but the old stuff. She has a way of telling it like it is. She doesn't pull any punches. You hear exactly what she's experiencing and she's not afraid of letting you know it. One of her songs, You Oughta Know, calls to something deep within me. Sure, there have been a lot of guys who led me on, got what they wanted, then dumped me, but it seems more current and certainly deeper than those petty high school hookups. I've come to realize that the husband is having an affair. Not with another woman. No, his mistress is a golden amber liquid which promises to alleviate his pain and allow him to hide from the world. He says he loves us, the wife, but is unable to make the choice between alcohol's tantalizing call and us. According to Rush, he has made his choice, hasn't he. So, here's to him and his lover:

You Oughta Know
I want you to know that I'm happy for you

I wish nothing but the best for you both

An older version of me

Is she perverted like me

Would she go down on you in a theater

Does she speak eloquently?

And would she have your baby

I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

Chorus:
'Cause the love that you gave that we made

wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no

And every time you speak her name

Does she know how you told me you'd hold me

Until you died, 'til you died

But you're still alive

And I'm here to remind you

Of the mess you left when you went away

It's not fair to deny me

Of the cross I bear that you gave to me

You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful

I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know

Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity

I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner

It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced

Are you thinking of me when you fuck her

Chorus:
'Cause the love that you gave that we made

wasn't able to make it enough for you to be open wide, no

And every time you speak her name

Does she know how you told me you'd hold me

Until you died, 'til you died

But you're sill alive

And I'm here to remind you

Of the mess you left when you went away

It's not fair to deny me

Of the cross I bear that you gave to me

You, you, you oughta know

'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed that was me

And I'm not gonna fade

As soon as you close your eyes and you know it

And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back

I hope you feel it...well can you feel it

Alanis Morissette, Jagged Little Pill, 1995

The next one could be a multiples theme song. Or at least mine. Like a diamond, there are a myriad of facets that make up the brilliance of who I am in my entirety. Certainly it brings confusion to those around me, but take out one little part and I wouldn't be who I am. Instead, I would be flawed and less than what I was created to be. Every part is invaluable.

Bitch

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

Chorus:
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

Chorus:

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover

I'm a child, I'm a mother

I'm a sinner, I'm a saint

I do not feel ashamed

I'm your hell, I'm your dream

I'm nothing in between

You know you wouldn't want it any other way

Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me

Chorus:

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way

Meredith Brooks, Blurring the Edges, 1997